When 'Plan A' Bites The Dust

So, if you are reading this blog as someone who has experienced infertility, chances are that your Plan A has failed. Crashed and burned. Bit the dust. Exploded in your face spectacularly. Because Plan A was...start trying to get pregnant and 3-6 months later (at the most!) have two little lines on that pregnancy test.
So here we all are at Plan B.  I was thrilled to discover in the July Ensign an article entitled
"When Good Plans Don't Work Out." by Stephanie J. Burns. 'Yep! I thought. That's Me. Here with The Plan NOT Working Out.' In the article, Stephanie Burns tells the stories of 4 individuals whose original plans did not work out. None of them were about infertility, and yet, each of them had something to say to my heart. The first quote I enjoyed was in the introduction to the article.

No one likes having to resort to “plan B.” But even when our plans fall through, Heavenly Father does not abandon His children. There are multiple good ways for life to work out. In time, we may even find that the roadblocks that changed our plans gave us needed insight and experience (see D&C 122:7) and led to something better.

Okay, so - Plan B can be a good thing. Sometimes even a better thing. And in fact, because I am not the omnipotent, omnicient Father of us all, I simply cannot see all the roads that I might travel to reach my longed-for blessing or achievement, in my case, motherhood.

In the artcile, Burns quotes one of the young LDS women who had experienced a re-direction of her life's plan:

“The Apostle Paul was a wonderful friend who helped me be patient and continually confront challenges,” says Sung Eun. “He always had a positive attitude and willingly waited for what God had for him, rather than hoping for his own timing...

But it was in Sung Eun's next comment that it seemed as if Heavenly Father himself tapped me on the shoulder and said 'This. This is for You.'  Sung Eun then stated "I learned something from his (Paul's) example... 

...the period of waiting is not merely the process that we must go through to get what we want. Rather, it is a process by which we become who our Heavenly Father wants us to be through changes we make.”

I'm planning on printing this out and plastering it on my fridge, mirror, steering wheel, medicine cabinet... to remind myself that this time I am spending baby-waiting is not simply something to twiddle my thumbs through. Not something to just curl up in bed and wait out. Not just a long night of darkness before Joy cometh in the morning. Not something to just endure until it is finally over. Instead, God intends it to be a time of active growth and learning, of becoming. And if I, in my petulance and grief, insist on making it a time of sorrow and anguish only, I am rejecting some of the greatest 'tutoring' this 'trial' has to offer. (Neal A. Maxwell, 'Plow in Hope.')

Stephanie Burns concludes her insightful article with this statement.

"Regardless of the turns life’s journey may take, the final destination of eternal life is what Heavenly Father plans for His children (see Moses 1:39). Some may even find that “plan B” was simply a way of making His “plan A” a reality." 

The truth is, we none of us know what God's plan is for us in this life. We may have thought we knew. We may have even made our own plans, and been certain that Heavenly Father would honor them, because they were filled with righteous desires, because we have lived in a way to deserve having our wishes granted. However, if infertility has taught me anything, it is that every life which comes into being is another small miracle worked by God. And miracles are not something that anyone 'deserves,' they are granted in the Lord's time, in the Lord's way. And there is great peace to be found in the assurance that His way, is the Best way, for each of us.