For the Stress-Heads: Woman Up

Life is stressful. Sometimes I feel like it’s a matter of “I breathe, therefore, I stress.” Some of us handle it better than others, some of us even thrive on it as a way to spur ourselves to greater action. But our bodies DO react to high stress levels in ways that the medical community is just barely beginning to understand.  If you are experiencing infertility, reducing stress is something to think about very seriously. It’s an unfortunate catch-22 that infertility can dramatically increase your stress levels (hello!) but understand that, accept that, and cut out something else you ARE willing to give up on, assuming you are still interested in trying to get pregnant.

Maybe you LOVE your crazy, hectic, stressful job – but do you want it more than a baby? Maybe you do. Realize that might be your trade-off though.  Or maybe not. Maybe it has nothing to do with it. Again, I’m no expert. For many of us, quitting work is not the answer, or just not possible, but learning to Woman up and say no to a multitude of other commitments IS.

Finding ways to manage your stress levels can be very, very tricky. However, it almost always involves learning to say one magic word with conviction and gleeful frequency –NO.  No, No, NO.  I find polite ways to say it to strangers. But I’m thinking of starting to flat-out tell family and close friends “Nope, can’t do it. I’m trying to have a baby and that takes up all the extra stress levels I’ve got available this week.”

In addition, listen to your body and mind. Be aware.  Practice mentally checking on yourself “do I feel frantic and/or stressed right now?”  Many of us don’t even realize our high stress levels until we snap at a loved one or holler unkind comments at another driver on the road. Once you are aware of your high-stress moments, Woman Up and take action to mitigate them. Are you frequently stressed because you are an over-scheduler and run late a lot? Start scheduling things farther apart, allow yourself extra time to arrive, and if you are early, use the time to practice deep breathing, walk outside where possible, and remind yourself mentally of all the things you are grateful for.

Are there certain people or situations in your life that make you more stressed than others? Take action.  Curtail friendships that make you feel inadequate, guilty, or like you have to spend too much energy maintaining them. If you notice certain family members or situations send your stress through the roof, avoid them and/or limit contact as much as possible. Woman Up and take control of whom you allow into your life – no one has a right to tie your insides up in knots, co-workers, bosses or blood relations. (For example, my in-laws are great, but if yours aren't, tell your husband his family is free to visit any time after you get pregnant.)

Also, it is very important to make sure you are taking time in your day for quiet meditation. That old phrase “If you are too busy to read your scriptures you are too busy” is very, very true.  Not only does time spent in the scriptures provide spiritual strength and healing, as well as inspiration and guidance, it doubles as a meditative, stress-reducing place for your body gain a more even keel. (Listening to scriptures while driving, like I sometimes do, is better than nothing, but does NOT count as meditation).

I’m not saying you should stop living your life and put everything on pause until you get pregnant, geez that would be totally miserable!  But if you constantly feel scattered, over-emotional, and stretched to the limit – you might just be sending your smart body a message that now is not a good time for a baby. Sure, you know, in your head, how and what you will cut back on once baby gets here in order to have time to care for them, but that doesn’t mean your body knows! Woman Up and try cutting back now.  Then, when baby does arrive, he will have a mommy who is well-practiced at sanity, not a raw beginner.

*Remember- this series of entries is about environmental factors for infertility. Your level of stress may not have anything to do with your infertility, and cutting back and taking time to breathe to sleep and to just be could still not affect it. But you will feel happier!