From the beginning I told my husband that even though this
baby was going to be coming out of my
body this was going to be a we thing
from start to finish. Which meant if I
had to go to the doctor, so did he.
Having this as a base rule was one of the best ideas I've ever had. Not only does it save me repeating the same information from the doctor over again to my husband, if he has any questions about it he can ask the doctor himself. Sometimes staff are surprised to see my husband at ‘routine’ visits and check-ups, but with fertility issues, ‘routine’ can turn to ‘heartbreaking’ in a nano-second. Usually staff are just impressed about what a rock-star husband he is to be willing to do all of it with me, and are more than happy to grab an extra chair for him to sit in. (And why is it that medical examination rooms, of all places, usually have only one chair? I resent the implied assumption that, at least in America, we should face all medical issues alone, sans emotional support or family. These are often the hardest and scariest kinds of interviews to have! Shouldn't a supporting loved one be a given at a medical appointment, rather than a surprise?)
Having this as a base rule was one of the best ideas I've ever had. Not only does it save me repeating the same information from the doctor over again to my husband, if he has any questions about it he can ask the doctor himself. Sometimes staff are surprised to see my husband at ‘routine’ visits and check-ups, but with fertility issues, ‘routine’ can turn to ‘heartbreaking’ in a nano-second. Usually staff are just impressed about what a rock-star husband he is to be willing to do all of it with me, and are more than happy to grab an extra chair for him to sit in. (And why is it that medical examination rooms, of all places, usually have only one chair? I resent the implied assumption that, at least in America, we should face all medical issues alone, sans emotional support or family. These are often the hardest and scariest kinds of interviews to have! Shouldn't a supporting loved one be a given at a medical appointment, rather than a surprise?)
It turns out that one of the most important reasons to have your husband with you is that sometimes we have made to make
seriously important decisions at a doctor appointment that we had no way of
anticipating would come up. Without my husband there, I either have to make the
call on my own or go home, discuss it with him, and call them back. Having
hubby at the appointment with me really reduces that decision making loop, and
helps everything move forward faster and smoother.
And one of the best results from having your husband attend
OBGYN and fertility appointments is that they gain a deep, deep, appreciation
for how awkward, invasive, and sometimes painful these procedures are. As well
as some really cool glimpses into the amazing creation that is the female human body - what an ovary looks on an ultrasound, or what
your uterus looks like. I'm not talking about getting gory - let the poor guy watch the computer screen. But chances are he'll be fascinated. We were both intrigued seeing his sperm under a microscope for our IUI. We didn’t get pregnant, but
if we had we could have told our kid we saw them when they were no bigger than
a tiny, tiny, wee gamete.
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